Joke Rating: ( 72 votes )
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NEW - Different color from previous design

ALL NEW - Parts not interchangable with previous design

EXCLUSIVE - Imported product

UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition

DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone

FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments

ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it

IT'S HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming

FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment

HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit

DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works

REVOLUTIONARY - It's different from our competitiors

BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it

FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does

DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others

MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix

RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults corrected, we hope...

HAND-CRAFTED - Assembly machines operated without gloves on

PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period

MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours

ALL SOLID-STATE - Heavy as Hell!

BROADCAST QUALITY - Gives a picture and produces noise

HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it

SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE - When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound

NEW GENERATION - Old design failed, maybe this one will work

MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction

CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can return it from most airports

UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way

BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check

MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED - Does things we can't explain

LATEST AER0SPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our techs was laid off by Boeing